if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
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