fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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