i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
worst night to have a conscience
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
