if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
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