It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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