It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I just want nice things and good sex
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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