Banned from zoo.
Again?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
