from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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