Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
