Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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