no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
