Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
