Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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