i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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