What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
