I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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