I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
