so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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