she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Randomize
