I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize
