did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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