i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
