Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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