Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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