are you still at the devil's house?
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
