ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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