that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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