Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Farmville is her only friend.
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we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
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I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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