He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
