im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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