You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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