Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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