explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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