He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
