I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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