Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
