Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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