just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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