Pants 0. Shit 1.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
