I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place