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• (631): View more from New York

  But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.

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• (631): View more from New York

  Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him

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• (209): View more from California

  I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..

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  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

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• (318): View more from Louisiana

  I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell

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• (425): View more from Washington

  This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.

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• (323): View more from California

  well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.

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• (281): View more from Texas

  I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.

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• (516): View more from New York

  Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.

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