This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
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she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
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I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.