how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Drake has all the answers
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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