We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
