Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I have aggressive nipples.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize