What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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