i would punch a child for taco bell
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
