You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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