I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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