No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
