Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
