To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
