There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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