That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I need to calm my uterus...
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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