I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
