You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize