It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
