apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize