Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
