You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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