He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
