she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I think a kid would responsible me up
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize