I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
