I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
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My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
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DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?