Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Randomize
