I'm drive I can fine osifer
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
