she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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