hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
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