What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
