Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize