Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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